I don't have much to report on the job search. I applied for three jobs yesterday. I'm up to 32, it's only a matter of time before I start hearing back... hopefully. Also, I start a part-time job next week. This is great because I no longer feel obligated to make finding a job my full time job. I want a job, but I just can't bring myself to sit on my computer 8 hours a day and submit applications/resumes/cover letters over and over. The next time I find myself with so much free-time will probably be when I am retired. I'm enjoying this phase of my life and taking plenty of time out for my creative labor.
I feel like I have bounced back from the devastation of the assessment last week. I can only be upset about an extremely difficult exam for a certain amount of time, that seems to be 4 days maximum. Plus, I haven't heard anything back yet, so there is still hope. Hope, sunshine and literature are enough to keep me going these days.
I am reading John Barth's "Lost in the Funhouse," in it, he references "The Book of One Thousand and One Nights." Reading Barth discuss "The Book of One Thousand and One Nights" felt like when you meet someone and then find out you have a friend in common. I enjoyed it.
Barth is quite critical of traditional narrative, some consider his essay, "The Literature of Exhaustion" the death notice of the novel. Barth interests me, he is playful and makes me think, and confuses me. I know how he feels about the narrative, but I'm not there yet.
The story I read today is about a king whose ship wrecked because it was drawn to a magnetic mountain.(Sounds like the TV show Lost) When the King gets to the island he meets a young man who is hiding out on the island because a soothsayer predicted he would be killed... by the stranded king! The king gets along with the boy and thinks the prediction is wrong. One day the boy asks for help slicing a watermelon. The king trips with his sword and accidentally kills the young man. Maybe I'm gullible for believing in narrative, but it was a satisfying story and I hope to read more stories like it. I think I have a lot more to read and learn before I'm exhausted by literuate. At least Barth will be there for me when I am, and we have a friend in common after all.
Barth would hate that ending. Ha!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Machine's Mastery
Nearly everyday I envy some unknowable mass of people. These people find respectable careers immediately after graduation because they have connections. It may sound paranoid, but I have reason to believe these people hold positions of power in government and control most multinational corporations.
The Book of One Thousand and One Nights taught me quite the lesson on envy today. One man envied his neighbor and plotted the envied's destruction. Things backfired and the envied became a king and the envier became a baboon. The possibility of becoming a primate really makes one consider their own nebulous envy. What am I really accomplishing by letting cronyism frustrate me in addition to the stresses of the job hunt?
I feel I am a qualified candidate for all the publishing jobs for which I've applied. I understand they are flooded with applicants and I might not be the best. But there are things I do not, can not, and refuse to understand. I have applied for several positions at a specific publishing house. I decided one day to look at their internship program. The website included information and a photograph, which haunts me. It is a picture of all the summer 2009 interns. Front and center is a woman, scrawny, bleach-blond military style hair-cut, very "anti-establishment" looking. She is TEXTING! I have no fear of being turned into a baboon, because I have crossed from envy to righteous anger. I have applied for so many positions, written so many heartfelt cover letters, and some girl who can't put her cell-phone down for two-minutes gets a publishing internship.
I realize that the game is rigged and not in my favor. I wonder if texting-blondie got the internship through "networking." I have never felt less human than at "networking" events. So much is achieved through human interaction. It's comforting, entertaining, interesting, life-sustaining. But somehow I find myself searching for a job in a world where human interaction has been reduced to its lowest form. Career hopefuls go to network events and meet people solely to use them and further their own career. To me it's horrifying, but it has become the norm.
I can't quite grasp how I feel about all this: envy, the rigged game, networking. I've been writing and re-writing for over and hour and still can't answer my own questions.
What do I do about my envy?
We all know the game is rigged, but what do we do? Stay on the sidelines or get in the game?
How in the world did networking become okay? What does it do to us as humans to have completely self-seeking human interaction become the norm? Am I over-reacting?
I will have lots to write about tomorrow and for weeks to come.
The Book of One Thousand and One Nights taught me quite the lesson on envy today. One man envied his neighbor and plotted the envied's destruction. Things backfired and the envied became a king and the envier became a baboon. The possibility of becoming a primate really makes one consider their own nebulous envy. What am I really accomplishing by letting cronyism frustrate me in addition to the stresses of the job hunt?
I feel I am a qualified candidate for all the publishing jobs for which I've applied. I understand they are flooded with applicants and I might not be the best. But there are things I do not, can not, and refuse to understand. I have applied for several positions at a specific publishing house. I decided one day to look at their internship program. The website included information and a photograph, which haunts me. It is a picture of all the summer 2009 interns. Front and center is a woman, scrawny, bleach-blond military style hair-cut, very "anti-establishment" looking. She is TEXTING! I have no fear of being turned into a baboon, because I have crossed from envy to righteous anger. I have applied for so many positions, written so many heartfelt cover letters, and some girl who can't put her cell-phone down for two-minutes gets a publishing internship.
I realize that the game is rigged and not in my favor. I wonder if texting-blondie got the internship through "networking." I have never felt less human than at "networking" events. So much is achieved through human interaction. It's comforting, entertaining, interesting, life-sustaining. But somehow I find myself searching for a job in a world where human interaction has been reduced to its lowest form. Career hopefuls go to network events and meet people solely to use them and further their own career. To me it's horrifying, but it has become the norm.
I can't quite grasp how I feel about all this: envy, the rigged game, networking. I've been writing and re-writing for over and hour and still can't answer my own questions.
What do I do about my envy?
We all know the game is rigged, but what do we do? Stay on the sidelines or get in the game?
How in the world did networking become okay? What does it do to us as humans to have completely self-seeking human interaction become the norm? Am I over-reacting?
I will have lots to write about tomorrow and for weeks to come.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sparkly Heroes
Today's story in the Book of One Thousand and One Nights had all the makings of bad sitcom. A man sneaks into a woman's house so that they my have an affair, but her husband comes home unexpectedly.
"Quick! Get out of here, hide!" says the woman.
The man flees, but forgets his sandals.
We've all seen this plot before. Most of the time offenders are punished with odious chores, or being grounded. In the Book of One Thousand and One Nights the punishment is to be tortured for hours, then have your hands and feet cut off so that you will bleed to death. Of course, this only applies to women. Different times, different times.
I may not have a job, but at least I have hands and feet. I'm glad the book of One Thousand and One Nights can help me keep things in perspective.
I looked at several jobs today. I applied for none. I did accomplish something though. I knit a dishrag. It is sturdy and absorbent and could probably hold many tears of disappointment. I like it. My official crying kerchief, knit especially for my job hunt. I haven't used it yet, and maybe I won't have to. On second thought, knitting a crying kerchief sounds a lot like learned helplessness. Let the record show I knit a dishrag today. I think Ayn Rand would approve. Here is what she has to say.
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, not-yet, and not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists... it is real...it is possible... it is yours."
Gee Ayn, thanks for believing in me. I think Ayn sums up how I feel at this point in the job search. Have I already lost some of those irreplaceable sparks? Getting kicked down is part of job the search, but losing my spark, my irreplaceable spark?
As each day passes it all seems a bit more difficult. It is not as easy to imagine ever getting out of this town. I stop believing in my own potential a little bit.
But now is no time for those thoughts. I have a world to win. There is a hero in my soul and I must make sure she doesn't perish. And I still have hands and feet.
"Quick! Get out of here, hide!" says the woman.
The man flees, but forgets his sandals.
We've all seen this plot before. Most of the time offenders are punished with odious chores, or being grounded. In the Book of One Thousand and One Nights the punishment is to be tortured for hours, then have your hands and feet cut off so that you will bleed to death. Of course, this only applies to women. Different times, different times.
I may not have a job, but at least I have hands and feet. I'm glad the book of One Thousand and One Nights can help me keep things in perspective.
I looked at several jobs today. I applied for none. I did accomplish something though. I knit a dishrag. It is sturdy and absorbent and could probably hold many tears of disappointment. I like it. My official crying kerchief, knit especially for my job hunt. I haven't used it yet, and maybe I won't have to. On second thought, knitting a crying kerchief sounds a lot like learned helplessness. Let the record show I knit a dishrag today. I think Ayn Rand would approve. Here is what she has to say.
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, not-yet, and not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists... it is real...it is possible... it is yours."
Gee Ayn, thanks for believing in me. I think Ayn sums up how I feel at this point in the job search. Have I already lost some of those irreplaceable sparks? Getting kicked down is part of job the search, but losing my spark, my irreplaceable spark?
As each day passes it all seems a bit more difficult. It is not as easy to imagine ever getting out of this town. I stop believing in my own potential a little bit.
But now is no time for those thoughts. I have a world to win. There is a hero in my soul and I must make sure she doesn't perish. And I still have hands and feet.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
What do you do if you have no boot straps?
It was a slaughter. It all started with computer programming problems. I have no programming experience. It was like being expected to have a conversation in a language you don't know. Then there was a section with riddles. Riddles. I graduated with highest honors from a respected university and I am doing riddles to prove myself.
I don't know the results yet, but I'm preparing for the worst. I had put job applications on hold to see how things would work out with this job. I think it's time for me to move on and start applying again. It is so exhausting to send out all these applications when maybe 1 out of 4 companies have the decency to at least tell you the position has been filled by someone else.
I guess for now I'll have to keep on hoping. I am getting a lot of good practice at being hopeful.
I'll be back tomorrow, and I'll actually fill you in on The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. I also won't be as self-pitying. For now, my brain feels like it's been shred over a grater and I'm going to bed.
I don't know the results yet, but I'm preparing for the worst. I had put job applications on hold to see how things would work out with this job. I think it's time for me to move on and start applying again. It is so exhausting to send out all these applications when maybe 1 out of 4 companies have the decency to at least tell you the position has been filled by someone else.
I guess for now I'll have to keep on hoping. I am getting a lot of good practice at being hopeful.
I'll be back tomorrow, and I'll actually fill you in on The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. I also won't be as self-pitying. For now, my brain feels like it's been shred over a grater and I'm going to bed.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Golems are the new Vampire
When I'm not trying to find a job I'm trying to come up with the next literary teen sensation, like Harry Potter or Twilight. My first idea is based on the tradition of the Golem. It's this old folklore about people who build a creature(a Golem) out of whatever they can find. Then you put a stone in the belly button of the Golem and it comes to life. The Golem protects its creator, but also gets involved in all sorts of hilarious hi-jinks. This may sound like it would not be marketable to teenagers, but I've got it all figured out. It involves a beautiful, intelligent woman who is also a social outcast. She goes to a Uni High and has access to all sorts of high tech equipment and is able to create a Golem. Instead of a stone in the belly button, it will be a belly-button-piercing that brings the Golem to life. The teens will eat this up. There are still a lot of major plot issues to work on, but it will come to me.
After the Golem sensation has died down I will be fully prepared to hit the teeny boppers with a new book. This one will be based on The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. I have no idea how I will pull this one off yet. I have 1,100 pages left in The Book. This should be plenty of time for everything to become clear to me. The Book is full of creative story structures for me to borrow, and there are no copyright issues.
Today I read about a couple who could not be together because their family forbade it. So the man spent years building an elaborate grave where he can spend eternity with his love since they cannot be together in life. Teens go crazy for that forbidden love stuff. As long as I leave out the part about the couple being brother and sister, the story should work out just fine.
Until I write a hit novel I am going to have to get a real job. Tomorrow is a do or die day with the Madison job. At 1 P.M. I am taking a proctored assessment that will determine whether or not I progress in the recruitment process. I've worked through a GRE review book, read two grammar books and worked through a lot of LSAT logic stuff in preparation. I love a good high-pressure exam. I hope I do well enough not only to move on in the recruitment process, but to impress the recruiters. Maybe all the exams I took in my schooling were preparation for this momentous assessment.
I'm going to get to bed-an important part of the test preparation process. I'll let you know how everything goes tomorrow.
After the Golem sensation has died down I will be fully prepared to hit the teeny boppers with a new book. This one will be based on The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. I have no idea how I will pull this one off yet. I have 1,100 pages left in The Book. This should be plenty of time for everything to become clear to me. The Book is full of creative story structures for me to borrow, and there are no copyright issues.
Today I read about a couple who could not be together because their family forbade it. So the man spent years building an elaborate grave where he can spend eternity with his love since they cannot be together in life. Teens go crazy for that forbidden love stuff. As long as I leave out the part about the couple being brother and sister, the story should work out just fine.
Until I write a hit novel I am going to have to get a real job. Tomorrow is a do or die day with the Madison job. At 1 P.M. I am taking a proctored assessment that will determine whether or not I progress in the recruitment process. I've worked through a GRE review book, read two grammar books and worked through a lot of LSAT logic stuff in preparation. I love a good high-pressure exam. I hope I do well enough not only to move on in the recruitment process, but to impress the recruiters. Maybe all the exams I took in my schooling were preparation for this momentous assessment.
I'm going to get to bed-an important part of the test preparation process. I'll let you know how everything goes tomorrow.
A Pants Day
I was quite impressed with The Book of One Thousand and One Nights today. After the orgy(in the book, not my life) I had low expectations. But luckily, I was proved wrong.
The three women I left to their orgy are master puppeteers in an international conspiracy. They are imprisoning princes from 7 different countries. Whoa! I could not believe it. The international conspiracy story is common now, but in the ancient middle east! I thought the international conspiracy storyline probably emerged around the time of World War I, then gained popularity during the Cold War. Shows how little I know. I also would have thought "the master puppeteer" gimmick appeared around the industrial age when the corporation emerged. Also surprising, the dirt-bag politician. The dirt-bag politician is common throughout history. However, in American history it remained hush hush until Pres. Bill Clinton. Scherzade is so edgy- she tells it like it is. I had no idea that in reading The Book of One Thousand and One Nights I would find a new heroine.
Today was more than just a good reading day though. Today was an all around success. I woke up at 10 AM today and put on jeans. I did not take them off until 9 pm, and that was only to put on pants suitable for working out. Do you understand the gravity of this? I put on pants. Also, I did not watch The Martha Stewart show today. I was too busy studying for my assessment on Wednesday for this job in Madison. If you aren't already overwhelmed by my personal victories, read on. I invented a new expression today, "pants day." A pants day is an exceptionally productive day, a day filled with pride, a day when you feel limitless, a day when the earth seems to buzz with possibility.
Another part of my pants day- I developed a plan for reading the particularly difficult works in the Canon of western/ world literature. The way I'm reading The Book Of One Thousand and One Nights has been successful. I only read around 20 pages a day and I have plenty of time to read less arduous books. I will employ this strategy to read Milton's Paradise Lost, after I'm done with my current project. How thrilling to read Paradise Lost! People often criticize the Canon, but I see the purpose. It is exciting to read something that has been read for hundreds of years. It makes me feel like I'm part of a club that transcends time and geography and the world itself as we all find ourselves lost in a fictitious world. I once heard an author on Book TV say something to this effect: Literature is more intimate than life itself. If life is air, literature is oxygen. Literature is that essential thing. The reason to breathe. That which sustains life.
I wish I could write something like that, but I'm perfectly content to live in a world where someone is capable of such eloquence, even if I am not that person. I can't remember the author, but I think she says more in those few sentences about the value of literature than I will ever be able to express.
In making this journey to find a job I've realized there are many things more important to me than having a resume that will get me noticed. The thing I'm most proud of is my membership in the most intimate, compassionate, beautiful, tragic club in the world, the club of literature. Perhaps I can put that under "community involvement" on my resume.
I hope any readers out there will join me and pick up a book and feel that connection. Or, find something else that makes you feel that connection. If you are still reading this, thank you so much for continuing to read this rough-around-the-edges post.
Good night, and I wish you a week full of pants days.
The three women I left to their orgy are master puppeteers in an international conspiracy. They are imprisoning princes from 7 different countries. Whoa! I could not believe it. The international conspiracy story is common now, but in the ancient middle east! I thought the international conspiracy storyline probably emerged around the time of World War I, then gained popularity during the Cold War. Shows how little I know. I also would have thought "the master puppeteer" gimmick appeared around the industrial age when the corporation emerged. Also surprising, the dirt-bag politician. The dirt-bag politician is common throughout history. However, in American history it remained hush hush until Pres. Bill Clinton. Scherzade is so edgy- she tells it like it is. I had no idea that in reading The Book of One Thousand and One Nights I would find a new heroine.
Today was more than just a good reading day though. Today was an all around success. I woke up at 10 AM today and put on jeans. I did not take them off until 9 pm, and that was only to put on pants suitable for working out. Do you understand the gravity of this? I put on pants. Also, I did not watch The Martha Stewart show today. I was too busy studying for my assessment on Wednesday for this job in Madison. If you aren't already overwhelmed by my personal victories, read on. I invented a new expression today, "pants day." A pants day is an exceptionally productive day, a day filled with pride, a day when you feel limitless, a day when the earth seems to buzz with possibility.
Another part of my pants day- I developed a plan for reading the particularly difficult works in the Canon of western/ world literature. The way I'm reading The Book Of One Thousand and One Nights has been successful. I only read around 20 pages a day and I have plenty of time to read less arduous books. I will employ this strategy to read Milton's Paradise Lost, after I'm done with my current project. How thrilling to read Paradise Lost! People often criticize the Canon, but I see the purpose. It is exciting to read something that has been read for hundreds of years. It makes me feel like I'm part of a club that transcends time and geography and the world itself as we all find ourselves lost in a fictitious world. I once heard an author on Book TV say something to this effect: Literature is more intimate than life itself. If life is air, literature is oxygen. Literature is that essential thing. The reason to breathe. That which sustains life.
I wish I could write something like that, but I'm perfectly content to live in a world where someone is capable of such eloquence, even if I am not that person. I can't remember the author, but I think she says more in those few sentences about the value of literature than I will ever be able to express.
In making this journey to find a job I've realized there are many things more important to me than having a resume that will get me noticed. The thing I'm most proud of is my membership in the most intimate, compassionate, beautiful, tragic club in the world, the club of literature. Perhaps I can put that under "community involvement" on my resume.
I hope any readers out there will join me and pick up a book and feel that connection. Or, find something else that makes you feel that connection. If you are still reading this, thank you so much for continuing to read this rough-around-the-edges post.
Good night, and I wish you a week full of pants days.
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Whore of Mensa
Richard Burton (the translator of The Book of One Thousand and One Nights) really had me going today. I was reading a story about three beautiful women who live together and buy fabulous things and don't care to have men around. Briefly, it was so 21st century. Strong women depending on themselves and not tolerating a man they don't really love. I should have known there was no way Richard Burton could tell an entire story about a group of likable, non-conniving woman.
A porter delivers some goods to the women and ends up convincing them it would be nice for him to stick around. They've started drinking and are now engaged in some sort of orgy.
Richard Burton, Why!? I wanted to believe you could be more than a misogynistic, racist, pervert. I can't keep giving you second chances.
I've left the characters in this story to their antics. I quickly grew too fainthearted for that nonsense. I have not read Burton's commentary on this section yet. I'm not ready to know what he thinks of all this.
I generally try to read The Book of One Thousand and One Nights and find some morsel I can parallel with my quest to find a job. I originally was not going to try with this story, but I'm not a quitter. I've actually come up with two parallels. I don't know how strong either is, but I do my best.
Parallel Number One:
On a job board I saw a writing position for a magazine in LA. I thought "Hey, why not." The job came with a home, I should have known, I should have known.
This job did include a small amount of writing for some sort of randy publication, but what really paid the bills was the prostitution part of the job.I hope my life does not spiral down to something like this. And that is all I have to say about the "writing" job in LA.
Parallel Number Two: Woody Guthrie wrote a short story entitled "The Whore of Mensa." In the world of this short story men visit women-of-the-night for intellectual stimulation. If I lived in the world of the Whore of Mensa and prostitution involved discussing art, literature, history, philosophy and politics I think I would be a very wealthy woman. I also might have actually applied for that "writing" job in LA.
Since I don't live in the world of The Whore of Mensa I guess I'll have to keep intelligent conversation as a hobby, not a profession. Slightly disappointing, but better than being duped into prostitution.
A porter delivers some goods to the women and ends up convincing them it would be nice for him to stick around. They've started drinking and are now engaged in some sort of orgy.
Richard Burton, Why!? I wanted to believe you could be more than a misogynistic, racist, pervert. I can't keep giving you second chances.
I've left the characters in this story to their antics. I quickly grew too fainthearted for that nonsense. I have not read Burton's commentary on this section yet. I'm not ready to know what he thinks of all this.
I generally try to read The Book of One Thousand and One Nights and find some morsel I can parallel with my quest to find a job. I originally was not going to try with this story, but I'm not a quitter. I've actually come up with two parallels. I don't know how strong either is, but I do my best.
Parallel Number One:
On a job board I saw a writing position for a magazine in LA. I thought "Hey, why not." The job came with a home, I should have known, I should have known.
This job did include a small amount of writing for some sort of randy publication, but what really paid the bills was the prostitution part of the job.I hope my life does not spiral down to something like this. And that is all I have to say about the "writing" job in LA.
Parallel Number Two: Woody Guthrie wrote a short story entitled "The Whore of Mensa." In the world of this short story men visit women-of-the-night for intellectual stimulation. If I lived in the world of the Whore of Mensa and prostitution involved discussing art, literature, history, philosophy and politics I think I would be a very wealthy woman. I also might have actually applied for that "writing" job in LA.
Since I don't live in the world of The Whore of Mensa I guess I'll have to keep intelligent conversation as a hobby, not a profession. Slightly disappointing, but better than being duped into prostitution.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Blast from the Past
I am a messy person, which makes life exciting. There is always something new to be found in my messy desk and shirts I forgot I owned in my overflowing drawers. Maybe messiness is a lifestyle and not a personality flaw.
Yesterday in my messiness I found a letter from 12-year-old Ann. This was the Ann who believed she could go places in life just by being intelligent, kind, and hardworking. Thanks for nothing empty American Dream. Someone really needs to step up and be the John Steinbeck of the 21st century and write a heartbreaking novel about how difficult it is to thrive in America today, even for the most qualified, desiring, deserving people. Now that I put that out there I would like to see such a novel in two years. That should give whoever writes it just enough time.
Back to the letter. Past Ann ended the letter "Keep it real punk." That's one of the trademarks of 12-year-old Ann. She likes to do things she feels are edgy but actually just make her look like a fool ten years later. I wonder what edgy things of today will be tomorrow's folly.
Past Ann would be very disappointed in me. These are the demands of Past Ann.
1. Go to UofI - accomplished, but somewhat disappointing
2.Become a Psychologist- fail
3.Be a Cattle Rancher in my spare time- I've been a vegetarian for almost a year now. I can hear 12-year-old Ann weeping.
4.Get my drivers license- accomplished
5.Not crash a car- Former self, are you taunting me?
6. Not kill myself in said car accident- Accomplished, great news for past, present and future Ann
Past Ann's favorite book was "She Said Yes." Alright, but lacking the literary merit I look for in books today.
Past Ann listened to country music and watched King of the Hill. Present Ann likes to got to wine shops and challenge herself to "out-snob" other patrons.
I've changed a lot. I would not trust former Ann with any major life decisions. I barely trust current Ann. The person I'm banking on is future Ann- she is so together.
My friend Camber enjoys life more than just about anyone I know. I think there are many reasons for this and one is the concept of "Future Camber." Camber always trusts that "future Camber" has things figured out. Current Cambers delightful blog is located at hongkongcamber.blogspot.com
If there is anything that 12-year-old Ann has taught me, it is to trust future Ann.
Keep it real, punks.
Yesterday in my messiness I found a letter from 12-year-old Ann. This was the Ann who believed she could go places in life just by being intelligent, kind, and hardworking. Thanks for nothing empty American Dream. Someone really needs to step up and be the John Steinbeck of the 21st century and write a heartbreaking novel about how difficult it is to thrive in America today, even for the most qualified, desiring, deserving people. Now that I put that out there I would like to see such a novel in two years. That should give whoever writes it just enough time.
Back to the letter. Past Ann ended the letter "Keep it real punk." That's one of the trademarks of 12-year-old Ann. She likes to do things she feels are edgy but actually just make her look like a fool ten years later. I wonder what edgy things of today will be tomorrow's folly.
Past Ann would be very disappointed in me. These are the demands of Past Ann.
1. Go to UofI - accomplished, but somewhat disappointing
2.Become a Psychologist- fail
3.Be a Cattle Rancher in my spare time- I've been a vegetarian for almost a year now. I can hear 12-year-old Ann weeping.
4.Get my drivers license- accomplished
5.Not crash a car- Former self, are you taunting me?
6. Not kill myself in said car accident- Accomplished, great news for past, present and future Ann
Past Ann's favorite book was "She Said Yes." Alright, but lacking the literary merit I look for in books today.
Past Ann listened to country music and watched King of the Hill. Present Ann likes to got to wine shops and challenge herself to "out-snob" other patrons.
I've changed a lot. I would not trust former Ann with any major life decisions. I barely trust current Ann. The person I'm banking on is future Ann- she is so together.
My friend Camber enjoys life more than just about anyone I know. I think there are many reasons for this and one is the concept of "Future Camber." Camber always trusts that "future Camber" has things figured out. Current Cambers delightful blog is located at hongkongcamber.blogspot.com
If there is anything that 12-year-old Ann has taught me, it is to trust future Ann.
Keep it real, punks.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Breaking the Spell
Zero job applications today and I didn't put on jeans. This is not good. Apparently putting on jeans was setting my sights a little high.
I really want this job in Madison. Ever since I began the interview process I find it difficult to write another cover letter and tailor my resume another time. All my dreaming and hoping energy is being channeled into this job. I'm not telling stories about myself through cover letters anymore. I'm telling stories to myself about what life could be like if things work out with this job.
If I accomplished nothing else today I made it through the third frame in The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. The frame ended with a particularly venomous story about a cheating wife. She turned her husband's bottom half to stone and whipped him daily. She also turned everyone in the surrounding village into fish. When a king breaks the witch's spell the lake turns into a bazaar and the fish turn into people. Everything immediately goes back to normal. I enjoy thinking about this scene. In an instant life completely changes for these people. Maybe before they were turned into fish they were growing weary of their everyday lives. But, I imagine being a fish made them appreciate the dry heat, sand in their fingernails, the purples and reds of fabric in the bazaar and the gold of candlesticks. I also like imagining coral turning into booths and shells turning into dinner plates as the spell is broken.
Maybe this is what I need in my life. Not a little change, say getting out of sweatpants. But something really big, like getting a job and starting a new adventure in a new city. I can see the transformation now. My sweatpants and t-shirt turn into business casual. Instead of watching Martha Stewart make fake rocks out of soap, I'm at work trying to finish a project under a deadline. Just like that, my life will change completely as if a spell had been broken.
I imagine this is how many people feel in this country. People who have worked hard and done everything they were supposed to do their entire careers are suddenly unemployed. It must feel as surprising as waking up as a fish one morning. It is discouraging to feel you have no control over your life. I’m sure there are jobless people out there who feel hiring a wizard to break the spell of economic recession might be a viable option. Nothing else is providing that instantaneous transformation we all want to see in the economy. If I figure out how to break the spell of unemployment in my life I’ll let you know. Until then I'll be in my sweats doing the hard work of imagining :)
Today I found a letter written from 12-year-old Ann to future Ann. 12-year-old Ann really gave me some great insights on The Once and Future Ann. I'll fill you in tomorrow.
I really want this job in Madison. Ever since I began the interview process I find it difficult to write another cover letter and tailor my resume another time. All my dreaming and hoping energy is being channeled into this job. I'm not telling stories about myself through cover letters anymore. I'm telling stories to myself about what life could be like if things work out with this job.
If I accomplished nothing else today I made it through the third frame in The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. The frame ended with a particularly venomous story about a cheating wife. She turned her husband's bottom half to stone and whipped him daily. She also turned everyone in the surrounding village into fish. When a king breaks the witch's spell the lake turns into a bazaar and the fish turn into people. Everything immediately goes back to normal. I enjoy thinking about this scene. In an instant life completely changes for these people. Maybe before they were turned into fish they were growing weary of their everyday lives. But, I imagine being a fish made them appreciate the dry heat, sand in their fingernails, the purples and reds of fabric in the bazaar and the gold of candlesticks. I also like imagining coral turning into booths and shells turning into dinner plates as the spell is broken.
Maybe this is what I need in my life. Not a little change, say getting out of sweatpants. But something really big, like getting a job and starting a new adventure in a new city. I can see the transformation now. My sweatpants and t-shirt turn into business casual. Instead of watching Martha Stewart make fake rocks out of soap, I'm at work trying to finish a project under a deadline. Just like that, my life will change completely as if a spell had been broken.
I imagine this is how many people feel in this country. People who have worked hard and done everything they were supposed to do their entire careers are suddenly unemployed. It must feel as surprising as waking up as a fish one morning. It is discouraging to feel you have no control over your life. I’m sure there are jobless people out there who feel hiring a wizard to break the spell of economic recession might be a viable option. Nothing else is providing that instantaneous transformation we all want to see in the economy. If I figure out how to break the spell of unemployment in my life I’ll let you know. Until then I'll be in my sweats doing the hard work of imagining :)
Today I found a letter written from 12-year-old Ann to future Ann. 12-year-old Ann really gave me some great insights on The Once and Future Ann. I'll fill you in tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Getting Back on the Arabian Horse
I only applied for one job today, not my best work. If nothing else, I feel like my applications are getting better and better. I've edited cover letters and resumes for each job and I feel I'm getting better at selling myself. But, if it is going to take one hundred and one applications I'd better start moving a little faster than one application a day.
I feel in some ways I've become like a stock character on a television show. The twenty-something who moved back home and is kind of worthless. I sit around and read and watch TV and eat jelly beans from a four-pound container. Then my mom asks about the orange juice and I say "Oh, I drank it all." This is not me at my most likable. I don't even have a good excuse. The story I am reading in One Thousand and One Nights involves a man who is stone from the waist down and a lake with magical fish. I'm not yet sure how these two things are linked. Scherzade got distracted and I had to read another story about a cheating wife. In the ancient Middle East if a man does it it is called a Harem, if a woman does it is called debauchery. These people really could have used a little feminism in their lives. But, this is my original point: until I find myself half made of stone there is no reason for me to be a worthless slug.
I didn't get this worthless all at once, it happened over time. One day I hung out in sweats all day, the next day I didn't take a shower. This progressed to a point where I had to take a shower before working out because I felt too dirty to work out. That one was a personal low. I was not this way at all in college. I was hard-working girl between school, volunteering, my job and other activities. I think my life needs a little more structure. A good place to start is jeans. Real denim ones, not those new pajama jeans. Tomorrow I am going to get up and put on real clothes. Then I am going to find something productive to do. So shall it be written, so shall it be done.
I feel in some ways I've become like a stock character on a television show. The twenty-something who moved back home and is kind of worthless. I sit around and read and watch TV and eat jelly beans from a four-pound container. Then my mom asks about the orange juice and I say "Oh, I drank it all." This is not me at my most likable. I don't even have a good excuse. The story I am reading in One Thousand and One Nights involves a man who is stone from the waist down and a lake with magical fish. I'm not yet sure how these two things are linked. Scherzade got distracted and I had to read another story about a cheating wife. In the ancient Middle East if a man does it it is called a Harem, if a woman does it is called debauchery. These people really could have used a little feminism in their lives. But, this is my original point: until I find myself half made of stone there is no reason for me to be a worthless slug.
I didn't get this worthless all at once, it happened over time. One day I hung out in sweats all day, the next day I didn't take a shower. This progressed to a point where I had to take a shower before working out because I felt too dirty to work out. That one was a personal low. I was not this way at all in college. I was hard-working girl between school, volunteering, my job and other activities. I think my life needs a little more structure. A good place to start is jeans. Real denim ones, not those new pajama jeans. Tomorrow I am going to get up and put on real clothes. Then I am going to find something productive to do. So shall it be written, so shall it be done.
Monday, February 15, 2010
My Own Heart's Curtain
I missed two days of blogging last week. My Internet was down and I was lazy. But, after a 4-day hiatus I'm back. I'll try and make it worth your while. It is Olympic season, which is great for inspiration, but bad for actually accomplishing things. I also found a photograph that is great for inspiration.
It is a picture of the photographer's son in the Wisconsin Dells. I find it fitting since the job I want is in Wisconsin. Also, what an amazing guy, I want to jump across cliffs and not care what anyone thinks just like him. I love finding a picture like that. It makes me feel so many things in addition to inspiration. Another work of art in which I've found so much feeling is this Edvard Munch painting.
This copy of it really does not do the painting justice. In real life it is stunning and to me there are so many levels of metaphor. Perhaps we are like the hut and the light of a single star can pierce loneliness and darkness, but we must be vulnerable, willing to be pierced. Maybe there is a clarity in isolation that cannot be found elsewhere. But mostly, I like to think that we are all meant to be like that little star and pierce the darkness of this world with whatever joy or beauty we can muster. In the Emergency Room after the car accident I was trying not to completely freak out and found myself thinking, "I'm the little star, I'm the little star."
Also, there is inspiration in the work of another German Expressionist, Rainer Maria Rilke. He thinks the world is complicated, but also beautiful. He is an eternal optimist and reading his work helps me cultivate these things in my own life. Also, I found out Lady GaGa has a huge quotation of his tattooed on her arm. GaGa is the real deal. Here is a little snippet of Rilke.
"Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always."
If you are ever feeling blue I recommend looking up some Rilke quotations, they are readily available on the internet. He also has great poems and collections of letters.
All of this is neither here nor there. But, applying for a job sometimes feels like a Sisyphean endeavor. I've apllied for 26 jobs and haven't nailed anything down yet. So for me, finding inspiration is as important as finding a job. Also, this post kind of became it's own thing, developing in way's I didn't expect. This is my favorite thing about the Book of One Thousand and One Nights. Although a woman who fears death tells the stories, she is a fearless storyteller. The stories go in their own unexpected directions.
So, this is what I'm learning today. Let life happen, let stories happen. When I get that job in Wisconsin my first apartment decoration will be a picture of a man airborne between cliffs.
It is a picture of the photographer's son in the Wisconsin Dells. I find it fitting since the job I want is in Wisconsin. Also, what an amazing guy, I want to jump across cliffs and not care what anyone thinks just like him. I love finding a picture like that. It makes me feel so many things in addition to inspiration. Another work of art in which I've found so much feeling is this Edvard Munch painting.
This copy of it really does not do the painting justice. In real life it is stunning and to me there are so many levels of metaphor. Perhaps we are like the hut and the light of a single star can pierce loneliness and darkness, but we must be vulnerable, willing to be pierced. Maybe there is a clarity in isolation that cannot be found elsewhere. But mostly, I like to think that we are all meant to be like that little star and pierce the darkness of this world with whatever joy or beauty we can muster. In the Emergency Room after the car accident I was trying not to completely freak out and found myself thinking, "I'm the little star, I'm the little star."
Also, there is inspiration in the work of another German Expressionist, Rainer Maria Rilke. He thinks the world is complicated, but also beautiful. He is an eternal optimist and reading his work helps me cultivate these things in my own life. Also, I found out Lady GaGa has a huge quotation of his tattooed on her arm. GaGa is the real deal. Here is a little snippet of Rilke.
"Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always."
If you are ever feeling blue I recommend looking up some Rilke quotations, they are readily available on the internet. He also has great poems and collections of letters.
All of this is neither here nor there. But, applying for a job sometimes feels like a Sisyphean endeavor. I've apllied for 26 jobs and haven't nailed anything down yet. So for me, finding inspiration is as important as finding a job. Also, this post kind of became it's own thing, developing in way's I didn't expect. This is my favorite thing about the Book of One Thousand and One Nights. Although a woman who fears death tells the stories, she is a fearless storyteller. The stories go in their own unexpected directions.
So, this is what I'm learning today. Let life happen, let stories happen. When I get that job in Wisconsin my first apartment decoration will be a picture of a man airborne between cliffs.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Talking Heads
"Turn thee from grief nor care a jot!
Commit thy needs to Fate and lot!
Enjoy the Present passing well
And let the Past be clean forgot."
I feel this type of don't worry be happy sentiment is expressed in many works of art/entertainment and this is how the Book of One Thousand and One Nights puts it. It is nice to think, but I don't know that it is the best way to survive in this economy. Although I am enjoying the present I am not leaving my job search to Fate. I feel like Fate's attitude is a bit too lackadaisical. Fate probably would not edit my resume to cater to every job for which I've applied.
Also, I am going to do as the Book of One Thousand and One Nights does, not as they say. In tonight's story a physician heals a king with leprosy. However, the king is suspicious of the physician and decides to have him beheaded. Why do these people always have to kill one another, especially someone who cured you of a deadly disease. So, the physician accepts his fate, but before he is to be beheaded he gives the king a book. He tells the king to read the book after the beheading and the head will tell the king many secrets. Sounds like a cool book and an even cooler disembodied head. The king follows the physician's plan, but after turning a few pages of the book he drops dead. The trick: a poison paged book. Giving someone a poisonous book does not seem to me like trusting Fate and allowing the chips to fall. I do however like the poisonous book idea. I would like to think my resume will have the same effect. Well it won't kill someone, but it will do something life changing like get me a job.
I still really want the job I interviewed for yesterday, but realize it would be naive to just sit around and wait. I am continuing to turn in job applications and let me just say my resume hurts so good.
Commit thy needs to Fate and lot!
Enjoy the Present passing well
And let the Past be clean forgot."
I feel this type of don't worry be happy sentiment is expressed in many works of art/entertainment and this is how the Book of One Thousand and One Nights puts it. It is nice to think, but I don't know that it is the best way to survive in this economy. Although I am enjoying the present I am not leaving my job search to Fate. I feel like Fate's attitude is a bit too lackadaisical. Fate probably would not edit my resume to cater to every job for which I've applied.
Also, I am going to do as the Book of One Thousand and One Nights does, not as they say. In tonight's story a physician heals a king with leprosy. However, the king is suspicious of the physician and decides to have him beheaded. Why do these people always have to kill one another, especially someone who cured you of a deadly disease. So, the physician accepts his fate, but before he is to be beheaded he gives the king a book. He tells the king to read the book after the beheading and the head will tell the king many secrets. Sounds like a cool book and an even cooler disembodied head. The king follows the physician's plan, but after turning a few pages of the book he drops dead. The trick: a poison paged book. Giving someone a poisonous book does not seem to me like trusting Fate and allowing the chips to fall. I do however like the poisonous book idea. I would like to think my resume will have the same effect. Well it won't kill someone, but it will do something life changing like get me a job.
I still really want the job I interviewed for yesterday, but realize it would be naive to just sit around and wait. I am continuing to turn in job applications and let me just say my resume hurts so good.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Taking Chances
I feel great about how the phone interview went today. I am even more excited about the company and the work I would be doing. It's still early in the application process. If I advance to the next stage I will have to take a proctored exam and if I move on from there I will go to an on-site interview. I want this job so very badly.
The only drawback: the interviewer said the application process can be lengthy. I said it sounds like it is worth the wait, which I really believe. At the same time, I've applied for a job waiting tables. It would be a fine job if I end up living at home for an extended period of time. However, the manager made it very clear that he did not want to waste time training someone who was just looking for some work until they found something else. If I didn't have a conscious I would probably wait tables even though I'm hoping to be outta here in a few months. I feel like if I did wait tables my behavior would indicate I don't really believe I'm going to get the technical writing job. However, if I don't get the technical writing job then I've really got nothing going for me income wise. (except me benevolent parents)
As I write this I think I've decided on a course of action. I will take the honest way. I will not accept a job waiting tables, because what I honestly want is for things to work out with this technical writing job. How changed honesty seems. It used to just be a virtue but now it is exciting and risky.
Honesty could have saved a parrot's life in the Book of One Thousand and One Nights. A merchant suspected his wife was cheating on him so he buys a parrot to spy on her. The wife fools the parrot into thinking there is a storm outside so she can carry on as usual with her liaison. When the merchant asks the parrot what he witnessed the parrot says he could not see anything because of all the lighting. The merchant says there have not been storms and in a fit of buyer's remorse fatally throws the parrot to the ground-what a horrible mental picture. A slave girl eventually tells the merchant that his wife tricked the parrot. The merchant than kills the wife and the other man. Three lives destroyed by dishonesty.
Maybe I won't get this technical writing job and I'll end up with nothing, but it seems like being dishonest with employers and myself is the bigger gamble. I'll let you know how my risky honest adventure turns out.
The only drawback: the interviewer said the application process can be lengthy. I said it sounds like it is worth the wait, which I really believe. At the same time, I've applied for a job waiting tables. It would be a fine job if I end up living at home for an extended period of time. However, the manager made it very clear that he did not want to waste time training someone who was just looking for some work until they found something else. If I didn't have a conscious I would probably wait tables even though I'm hoping to be outta here in a few months. I feel like if I did wait tables my behavior would indicate I don't really believe I'm going to get the technical writing job. However, if I don't get the technical writing job then I've really got nothing going for me income wise. (except me benevolent parents)
As I write this I think I've decided on a course of action. I will take the honest way. I will not accept a job waiting tables, because what I honestly want is for things to work out with this technical writing job. How changed honesty seems. It used to just be a virtue but now it is exciting and risky.
Honesty could have saved a parrot's life in the Book of One Thousand and One Nights. A merchant suspected his wife was cheating on him so he buys a parrot to spy on her. The wife fools the parrot into thinking there is a storm outside so she can carry on as usual with her liaison. When the merchant asks the parrot what he witnessed the parrot says he could not see anything because of all the lighting. The merchant says there have not been storms and in a fit of buyer's remorse fatally throws the parrot to the ground-what a horrible mental picture. A slave girl eventually tells the merchant that his wife tricked the parrot. The merchant than kills the wife and the other man. Three lives destroyed by dishonesty.
Maybe I won't get this technical writing job and I'll end up with nothing, but it seems like being dishonest with employers and myself is the bigger gamble. I'll let you know how my risky honest adventure turns out.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Of Phone Interviews and Falcons
First off, something exciting. I have a phone interview for a real job! I wish this employer could have seen me when I found out about the interview. Who wouldn't want to hire the girl lying on the floor kicking her feet in the air and screaming, laughing, crying all at once "I have an interview!" The job would involve technical writing and the company and location excite me. I'm trying to be cautiously excited as to not be let down if things don't work out. Even though I realize jumping and screaming do not resemble something called "caution." I am excited about this in one thousand and one ways, but I won't list them all, so there's your caution!
If things don't work out with this job, The Book of One Thousand and One Nights has helped me refine my job searching methods. In the story I read today a man has this pet falcon whom he loves and carries around on his hand all the time. The man and falcon go hunting and the man finds a tree from which "water drips like butter." The man stops to feed his horses. But, the falcon keeps getting in the way of the horses and in frustration the man kills the falcon. Only then does the man look up an see a brood of vipers dripping poison from the top of the tree.
Life lesson: Get a falcon. Trust Your falcon.
I am done with college and there is no one to tell me what to do anymore. I have to make my own decisions. I hate it. But if I had a falcon, he would guide me. He could help me know which jobs to apply for and which companies to avoid. Do you think my falcon would have let me get in my car that terrible icy morning? I am certain the falcon would not because he would care for me.
Maybe I can arrange to own a falcon by my phone interview tomorrow. The interviewer will ask "Where do you see yourself in five years and what in the world is that odd squawking sound?"
I'll say "Oh, that's just my life advisor."
1:30 Tuesday could be the beginning of something great. I'm hoping for the best!
If things don't work out with this job, The Book of One Thousand and One Nights has helped me refine my job searching methods. In the story I read today a man has this pet falcon whom he loves and carries around on his hand all the time. The man and falcon go hunting and the man finds a tree from which "water drips like butter." The man stops to feed his horses. But, the falcon keeps getting in the way of the horses and in frustration the man kills the falcon. Only then does the man look up an see a brood of vipers dripping poison from the top of the tree.
Life lesson: Get a falcon. Trust Your falcon.
I am done with college and there is no one to tell me what to do anymore. I have to make my own decisions. I hate it. But if I had a falcon, he would guide me. He could help me know which jobs to apply for and which companies to avoid. Do you think my falcon would have let me get in my car that terrible icy morning? I am certain the falcon would not because he would care for me.
Maybe I can arrange to own a falcon by my phone interview tomorrow. The interviewer will ask "Where do you see yourself in five years and what in the world is that odd squawking sound?"
I'll say "Oh, that's just my life advisor."
1:30 Tuesday could be the beginning of something great. I'm hoping for the best!
Friday, February 5, 2010
I am not a genie in a bottle
Most preconceptions I had about the Book of One Thousand and One Nights came from the Disney movie Aladdin with maybe a touch of Wishbone. I should not be surprised when the actual book is different from these sources, but I still am. None of the Genies have been blue. They are all grumpy and bent on killing someone. In the story I read today a man punished by a king was put into a bottle and thrown in the ocean, which I guess is where he became a Genie. The whole first century this Genie spent in the ocean he thought when someone released him he would enrich their lives forever, the next hundred years he vowed to open the hoards of earth to whoever released him, the hundred years following that he vowed to grant three wishes to whoever found him, what a great and Genie-like thing to do! After that the Genie turned into a real sadist. When no one found him after three hundred years he vowed to kill whoever found him. When a fisher finds him the Genie says he'll be nice and let the fisher pick his own death. I guess when you spent the last four hundred years in a bottle and you did not have the fortune of being a blue creature with the voice of Robin Williams you kind of turn into a jerk. If I did have to pick a way to die it would be something slow enough that I could say goodbye to everything I was leaving behind, friends, family, books, jelly beans, videos of cute animals, cheese, white wines and many more would all get a proper "Goodbye, I Love You! Thanks for making me smile." Thankfully I don't think I'll find a genie in the middle of a cornfield so I won't have to strategize for the choose your own death game.
I realize though, that if there is anything in life I don't want to become it is a Genie. Genies are not pleasant. All they do is complain and hate their Genie lives and try to hurt other people. The only good thing about them is that they are bionic. But guess what Genie, so am I. I feel like some people who have been working in one industry for way too long are like Genies. They hate everything about their jobs and want to scare young hopefuls like me. True confession: I am a genie of journalism. I thought I could not endure my last year of j-school and earnestly tried to convince freshman to leave the major. I thought if I could save someone else from a dead end major where you are criticized if you forget to wear make up I would feel like a savior of sorts. But I was not being a savior; I was being a genie all along. I still had to finish my last year of journalism school and actively trying to destroy the College of Media did not make anything easier, although it sometimes made life funnier. Hopefully my genie days are over and I'll learn to be content with whatever career finds me. See ya on the other side of the weekend.
I realize though, that if there is anything in life I don't want to become it is a Genie. Genies are not pleasant. All they do is complain and hate their Genie lives and try to hurt other people. The only good thing about them is that they are bionic. But guess what Genie, so am I. I feel like some people who have been working in one industry for way too long are like Genies. They hate everything about their jobs and want to scare young hopefuls like me. True confession: I am a genie of journalism. I thought I could not endure my last year of j-school and earnestly tried to convince freshman to leave the major. I thought if I could save someone else from a dead end major where you are criticized if you forget to wear make up I would feel like a savior of sorts. But I was not being a savior; I was being a genie all along. I still had to finish my last year of journalism school and actively trying to destroy the College of Media did not make anything easier, although it sometimes made life funnier. Hopefully my genie days are over and I'll learn to be content with whatever career finds me. See ya on the other side of the weekend.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Ensorcelling Employers
I learned a new word today, ensorcel. It means to enchant or put under a spell. I also got good news form a publishing house! Okay, so it is isn't great news. The job I applied for earlier this week has been filled, but they sent me a response. I applied for a different job at the same company weeks ago and heard nothing. Maybe this means someone actually looked at my application; this is what I'm choosing to believe. This could be a first step in wearing down their resistance until they finally accept that I'm everything they ever wanted in an employee.
Don't you just love the phrase "publishing house." It delights and thrills me. Is there any other industry that refers to their headquarters as a house? The Banking House, the Hospital House, the Consulting House, Nursing Home. Well, I guess one other industry has taken its cues from publishing. I'd like to think the phrase publishing house is around because publishing will always be more soul than business. I realize there are finances and customers and bottom lines in publishing but there is also art.
I love books. I have great parents. (they are letting me live at home as long as I need and insist on buying my groceries) But, in many ways books raised up. Growing up in a small town books carried my imagination to things I could have never experienced and enriched everything I did experience. When I was 12-years-old, chubby, had acne, glasses, bangs, and braces books were my best friends. It is so cheesy but it is also so very true. I'm glad I've written all of this so I can remember why I write so many cover letters and endure so many rejections.
Guess what. Our beloved date-eater from yesterday made it out alive. The Genie that was supposed to kill him agreed to let him go if these three men who happened to walk by could tell him a great story. All three men had animals with them, mules, gazelles and dogs respectively. Turns out the animals were their loved ones who had been turned into animals in hilarious and surprising ways. Only two of the three stories were offensive to women, in the other the woman was sort of a savior. The Genie gobbled those stories up and the date-eater walked! Fate was really conspiring for the happiness of the date-eater all along. Sorry, if this whole story is confusing. It is pretty easy to be confused reading a book of hundreds of frame tales.
I've been working on my Job Finding Play List and here is what I've come up with so far.
1. Touch the Sky - Kanye West. Kanye was involved in a traumatic car accident just like me. Also, he was totally right about Taylor Swift.
2. Dynamo of Volition- Jason Mraz.
3. Superwoman and Empire State of Mind - Alicia Keys
4. Just Fine- Mary J. Blige
5. You Make My Dreams Come True- Hall and Oates
6. Sweet Disposition- The Temper Trap
7. Don't Stop Believing as performed by the cast of Glee
8. Read My Mind - The Killers
9. Man in the Mirror- Michael Jackson
10. Little Secrets- Passion Pit
11. You Get What You Give- New Radicals
12. Money(That's What I Want) - Barrett Strong
13. Under Pressure- David Bowie and Queen
14. 1234- Feist
15. New Soul- Yael Naim
16.Just for Now -Imogen Heap
17. Won't Go Home Without You- Maroon 5
18. Break My Stride- Matthew Wilder (Courtesy of Anna)
Let me know of any other songs that would go well on my job finding soundtrack.
You gonna touch the sky baby girl!
Don't you just love the phrase "publishing house." It delights and thrills me. Is there any other industry that refers to their headquarters as a house? The Banking House, the Hospital House, the Consulting House, Nursing Home. Well, I guess one other industry has taken its cues from publishing. I'd like to think the phrase publishing house is around because publishing will always be more soul than business. I realize there are finances and customers and bottom lines in publishing but there is also art.
I love books. I have great parents. (they are letting me live at home as long as I need and insist on buying my groceries) But, in many ways books raised up. Growing up in a small town books carried my imagination to things I could have never experienced and enriched everything I did experience. When I was 12-years-old, chubby, had acne, glasses, bangs, and braces books were my best friends. It is so cheesy but it is also so very true. I'm glad I've written all of this so I can remember why I write so many cover letters and endure so many rejections.
Guess what. Our beloved date-eater from yesterday made it out alive. The Genie that was supposed to kill him agreed to let him go if these three men who happened to walk by could tell him a great story. All three men had animals with them, mules, gazelles and dogs respectively. Turns out the animals were their loved ones who had been turned into animals in hilarious and surprising ways. Only two of the three stories were offensive to women, in the other the woman was sort of a savior. The Genie gobbled those stories up and the date-eater walked! Fate was really conspiring for the happiness of the date-eater all along. Sorry, if this whole story is confusing. It is pretty easy to be confused reading a book of hundreds of frame tales.
I've been working on my Job Finding Play List and here is what I've come up with so far.
1. Touch the Sky - Kanye West. Kanye was involved in a traumatic car accident just like me. Also, he was totally right about Taylor Swift.
2. Dynamo of Volition- Jason Mraz.
3. Superwoman and Empire State of Mind - Alicia Keys
4. Just Fine- Mary J. Blige
5. You Make My Dreams Come True- Hall and Oates
6. Sweet Disposition- The Temper Trap
7. Don't Stop Believing as performed by the cast of Glee
8. Read My Mind - The Killers
9. Man in the Mirror- Michael Jackson
10. Little Secrets- Passion Pit
11. You Get What You Give- New Radicals
12. Money(That's What I Want) - Barrett Strong
13. Under Pressure- David Bowie and Queen
14. 1234- Feist
15. New Soul- Yael Naim
16.Just for Now -Imogen Heap
17. Won't Go Home Without You- Maroon 5
18. Break My Stride- Matthew Wilder (Courtesy of Anna)
Let me know of any other songs that would go well on my job finding soundtrack.
You gonna touch the sky baby girl!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Stupid Luck
This is what happens when Richard F. Burton tries to be cute.
"Destiny may not be averted or hindered by aught, and that whatso woman willeth the same she fulfilleth however man nilleth." I translated it like this: Destiny(as personified by a woman) cannot be stopped no matter what you do.
If my destiny is to work in publishing and spend all my days with books and people who love books I would appreciate the idea of fate. However, I do not know my "destiny" and it could easily be to live in a small town forever and work at a sandwich shop-yikes.
In the story I read today a man threw a date that fatally hit another man's son in the head. Now, the accidental murderer is trying to get his life in order before his execution. If fate can turn a fruit-eater into a murderer I quake at the thought of what it could do to me. I don't know how I feel about this fate thing but I guess I'll have to keep an open mind while reading One Thousand and One Nights. Even if fate is not manipulating my life, how much control do I really have? The economy is not doing well(in case you haven't heard), I've applied for 18 jobs and heard nothing back,my dream is to work in an industry known for cronyism and I have no connections to help me get a job in publishing, or really anywhere. Maybe it is all just fate coming to get me. Too bad the whole economy had to go down the drain and screw over 17% of Americans just so my dreams couldn't come true.
I know what Arabian Nights has to say about fate, but I don't agree, at least not yet. If fate wants to catch up with my big plans fate is going to have to run a little bit faster. I feel that this moment and this sentiment could use an upbeat, positive, "I Can do it!" type of song. So, in addition to applying for jobs and reading BOOTON tomorrow I'm going to assemble a mix of these types of song. I'll need a great soundtrack to defy fate and make all my dreams come true.
"Destiny may not be averted or hindered by aught, and that whatso woman willeth the same she fulfilleth however man nilleth." I translated it like this: Destiny(as personified by a woman) cannot be stopped no matter what you do.
If my destiny is to work in publishing and spend all my days with books and people who love books I would appreciate the idea of fate. However, I do not know my "destiny" and it could easily be to live in a small town forever and work at a sandwich shop-yikes.
In the story I read today a man threw a date that fatally hit another man's son in the head. Now, the accidental murderer is trying to get his life in order before his execution. If fate can turn a fruit-eater into a murderer I quake at the thought of what it could do to me. I don't know how I feel about this fate thing but I guess I'll have to keep an open mind while reading One Thousand and One Nights. Even if fate is not manipulating my life, how much control do I really have? The economy is not doing well(in case you haven't heard), I've applied for 18 jobs and heard nothing back,my dream is to work in an industry known for cronyism and I have no connections to help me get a job in publishing, or really anywhere. Maybe it is all just fate coming to get me. Too bad the whole economy had to go down the drain and screw over 17% of Americans just so my dreams couldn't come true.
I know what Arabian Nights has to say about fate, but I don't agree, at least not yet. If fate wants to catch up with my big plans fate is going to have to run a little bit faster. I feel that this moment and this sentiment could use an upbeat, positive, "I Can do it!" type of song. So, in addition to applying for jobs and reading BOOTON tomorrow I'm going to assemble a mix of these types of song. I'll need a great soundtrack to defy fate and make all my dreams come true.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Invalid Tests Throughout the Centuries
Today was not a very productive day for job searching because of the holiday. I only applied for one job, making my total count 14. But, I feel mentally prepared to apply for jobs tomorrow. After all, Groundhog Day is a time to relax and let Phil do all the work.
I did keep up with my Arabian Nights. It is different than anything I’ve ever read. There is no single author, it is just an assortment of different manuscripts and oral tradition. Luckily I have the dear Richard Burton to translate and lead me through the text with footnotes and commentary.
I was floored when I read his footnote regarding a story on an adulterous wife.
Burton noted that debauched women prefer African men for their "larger parts." This is an evidence-based theory. Apparently in his exploits Burton measured Asian, Arabic and African men so he could compare them. Not only was Burton doing this, he felt no shame and did not hesitate to publish his "findings." Burton lived in a different world. Or did he?
As I fill out applications some require personality tests- the type where you strongly agree or strongly disagree with statements. I was turned away from a cashier job at a sub-par department store because of a personality quiz. What is the secret to not looking like a psychopath on these things? I am certain any of my former employers/professors would say that I'm dependable, honest and get the job done. But no. Some special kind of monster in HR created this exam that purports to reveal to employers how deeply disturbed and unemployable I am. Measuring a human personality with a multiple-choice exam is absurd in my opinion. It’s almost as ridiculous as measuring genitalia in order to make assumptions about a society.
But, these are the things I'm up against as a woman in the 21st century trying to find a job. I still have a lot of fight left, so bring it Bristol Myers Squibb personality assessment.
I did keep up with my Arabian Nights. It is different than anything I’ve ever read. There is no single author, it is just an assortment of different manuscripts and oral tradition. Luckily I have the dear Richard Burton to translate and lead me through the text with footnotes and commentary.
I was floored when I read his footnote regarding a story on an adulterous wife.
Burton noted that debauched women prefer African men for their "larger parts." This is an evidence-based theory. Apparently in his exploits Burton measured Asian, Arabic and African men so he could compare them. Not only was Burton doing this, he felt no shame and did not hesitate to publish his "findings." Burton lived in a different world. Or did he?
As I fill out applications some require personality tests- the type where you strongly agree or strongly disagree with statements. I was turned away from a cashier job at a sub-par department store because of a personality quiz. What is the secret to not looking like a psychopath on these things? I am certain any of my former employers/professors would say that I'm dependable, honest and get the job done. But no. Some special kind of monster in HR created this exam that purports to reveal to employers how deeply disturbed and unemployable I am. Measuring a human personality with a multiple-choice exam is absurd in my opinion. It’s almost as ridiculous as measuring genitalia in order to make assumptions about a society.
But, these are the things I'm up against as a woman in the 21st century trying to find a job. I still have a lot of fight left, so bring it Bristol Myers Squibb personality assessment.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Story of the woman and the elusive job
This blog is one of the little stories of my life, which is nestled in other stories then other stories and eventually becomes my entire life. Thinking like this makes unemployment seem less scary. I have yet to find a mindset that makes death less scary. I met death a few weeks ago. He didn't really say hello and ask my name- just peeked at me as my car tumbled off the highway and held my gaze while my windshield filled with snowy earth and the windows shattered. This passing encounter with death is the inciting incident for this blog. It is the reason I am unemployed and also the reason (not surprisingly) I'm afraid of death.
Less inherently understandable is the Arabian Nights gimmick. In The Book Of One Thousand and One Nights Scheherazade tells a story every night to save her life. This is kind of what I'm doing in my search for a job. I'm not fearful that I will loose my head if I don't find a job after one hundred and one applications. However, I do fear that if I don't find a job I am going to enroll in a very practical school and come out with a pragmatic degree for a job I don't really want; a job that will make my life stable, orderly and predictable. The horror!
In One Thousand and One Nights there is this idea that if a story is good enough it can save you. So really, if I can write an excellent cover letter that tells a story about how one young woman from the mid-west with no friends of great notoriety or fortune, but a history of energetic hard work is the perfect candidate for a job opening, then by the law of Arabian Nights I will get an amazing job.
Following the car accident I can't help but think of the million ways anyone's fragile life could suddenly be lost. But, if I can tell myself a good enough story, where the world is friendly and pleasant and terrible things don't happen all that often, maybe I can convince myself the world isn't such a scary place after all.
Until that day comes, I'll be applying for jobs and reading through Arabian Nights. Considering the economy and 1,335 pages of the Book of One Thousand and One Nights, I think I'll be here for a while.
I'll be back tomorrow with a post on the translation of Arabian Nights I'm reading. A man named Richard Burton finished it in 1885. He was an explorer in the glory days of the English Empire and by today's standards, or really any standards of decency, an offensive bigot. So, if you are anyone but Richard Burton you can look forward to being horribly offended by tomorrow's post.
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