I don't have much to report on the job search. I applied for three jobs yesterday. I'm up to 32, it's only a matter of time before I start hearing back... hopefully. Also, I start a part-time job next week. This is great because I no longer feel obligated to make finding a job my full time job. I want a job, but I just can't bring myself to sit on my computer 8 hours a day and submit applications/resumes/cover letters over and over. The next time I find myself with so much free-time will probably be when I am retired. I'm enjoying this phase of my life and taking plenty of time out for my creative labor.
I feel like I have bounced back from the devastation of the assessment last week. I can only be upset about an extremely difficult exam for a certain amount of time, that seems to be 4 days maximum. Plus, I haven't heard anything back yet, so there is still hope. Hope, sunshine and literature are enough to keep me going these days.
I am reading John Barth's "Lost in the Funhouse," in it, he references "The Book of One Thousand and One Nights." Reading Barth discuss "The Book of One Thousand and One Nights" felt like when you meet someone and then find out you have a friend in common. I enjoyed it.
Barth is quite critical of traditional narrative, some consider his essay, "The Literature of Exhaustion" the death notice of the novel. Barth interests me, he is playful and makes me think, and confuses me. I know how he feels about the narrative, but I'm not there yet.
The story I read today is about a king whose ship wrecked because it was drawn to a magnetic mountain.(Sounds like the TV show Lost) When the King gets to the island he meets a young man who is hiding out on the island because a soothsayer predicted he would be killed... by the stranded king! The king gets along with the boy and thinks the prediction is wrong. One day the boy asks for help slicing a watermelon. The king trips with his sword and accidentally kills the young man. Maybe I'm gullible for believing in narrative, but it was a satisfying story and I hope to read more stories like it. I think I have a lot more to read and learn before I'm exhausted by literuate. At least Barth will be there for me when I am, and we have a friend in common after all.
Barth would hate that ending. Ha!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Machine's Mastery
Nearly everyday I envy some unknowable mass of people. These people find respectable careers immediately after graduation because they have connections. It may sound paranoid, but I have reason to believe these people hold positions of power in government and control most multinational corporations.
The Book of One Thousand and One Nights taught me quite the lesson on envy today. One man envied his neighbor and plotted the envied's destruction. Things backfired and the envied became a king and the envier became a baboon. The possibility of becoming a primate really makes one consider their own nebulous envy. What am I really accomplishing by letting cronyism frustrate me in addition to the stresses of the job hunt?
I feel I am a qualified candidate for all the publishing jobs for which I've applied. I understand they are flooded with applicants and I might not be the best. But there are things I do not, can not, and refuse to understand. I have applied for several positions at a specific publishing house. I decided one day to look at their internship program. The website included information and a photograph, which haunts me. It is a picture of all the summer 2009 interns. Front and center is a woman, scrawny, bleach-blond military style hair-cut, very "anti-establishment" looking. She is TEXTING! I have no fear of being turned into a baboon, because I have crossed from envy to righteous anger. I have applied for so many positions, written so many heartfelt cover letters, and some girl who can't put her cell-phone down for two-minutes gets a publishing internship.
I realize that the game is rigged and not in my favor. I wonder if texting-blondie got the internship through "networking." I have never felt less human than at "networking" events. So much is achieved through human interaction. It's comforting, entertaining, interesting, life-sustaining. But somehow I find myself searching for a job in a world where human interaction has been reduced to its lowest form. Career hopefuls go to network events and meet people solely to use them and further their own career. To me it's horrifying, but it has become the norm.
I can't quite grasp how I feel about all this: envy, the rigged game, networking. I've been writing and re-writing for over and hour and still can't answer my own questions.
What do I do about my envy?
We all know the game is rigged, but what do we do? Stay on the sidelines or get in the game?
How in the world did networking become okay? What does it do to us as humans to have completely self-seeking human interaction become the norm? Am I over-reacting?
I will have lots to write about tomorrow and for weeks to come.
The Book of One Thousand and One Nights taught me quite the lesson on envy today. One man envied his neighbor and plotted the envied's destruction. Things backfired and the envied became a king and the envier became a baboon. The possibility of becoming a primate really makes one consider their own nebulous envy. What am I really accomplishing by letting cronyism frustrate me in addition to the stresses of the job hunt?
I feel I am a qualified candidate for all the publishing jobs for which I've applied. I understand they are flooded with applicants and I might not be the best. But there are things I do not, can not, and refuse to understand. I have applied for several positions at a specific publishing house. I decided one day to look at their internship program. The website included information and a photograph, which haunts me. It is a picture of all the summer 2009 interns. Front and center is a woman, scrawny, bleach-blond military style hair-cut, very "anti-establishment" looking. She is TEXTING! I have no fear of being turned into a baboon, because I have crossed from envy to righteous anger. I have applied for so many positions, written so many heartfelt cover letters, and some girl who can't put her cell-phone down for two-minutes gets a publishing internship.
I realize that the game is rigged and not in my favor. I wonder if texting-blondie got the internship through "networking." I have never felt less human than at "networking" events. So much is achieved through human interaction. It's comforting, entertaining, interesting, life-sustaining. But somehow I find myself searching for a job in a world where human interaction has been reduced to its lowest form. Career hopefuls go to network events and meet people solely to use them and further their own career. To me it's horrifying, but it has become the norm.
I can't quite grasp how I feel about all this: envy, the rigged game, networking. I've been writing and re-writing for over and hour and still can't answer my own questions.
What do I do about my envy?
We all know the game is rigged, but what do we do? Stay on the sidelines or get in the game?
How in the world did networking become okay? What does it do to us as humans to have completely self-seeking human interaction become the norm? Am I over-reacting?
I will have lots to write about tomorrow and for weeks to come.
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